by Andy Remic
A tale of dwarves, gangsta wizards and
sleazy elf juice
Bimbo Nobbins is a bobbit, a small, useless, furry creature with excessively hairy toes, a love of tweed and pipe-smoking, and the desire to do nothing but eat sweet things, drink mead, lounge in the sun and study raunchy elf lithographs.
However, Bimbo’s peaceful home life is gate-crashed by thirteen on-the-run criminal dwarves (known as The Hairy Dozen – yes, they can’t count), hunted for their part in a double-barrel crossbow armed robbery and crimes against the elves, along with their leader, Gumball the Wizard, the first ever Gangsta Wizard to stalk the forests of Muddy Earth.
Faced with such murderous, stinking, foul-mouthed violent scum, whose only aim is to rob the dragon Slob the Gratuitous of his treasure hoard, and entice elf maids to their doom, what would you do? Although reluctant, Bimbo Nobbins, singing and dancing, heads off with The Hairy Dozen to take part in their quest for gold… And surprises even himself by his creativity and skill as a burglar and violent back-stabber!
THE BOBBIT – OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK ALBUM
That’s right, the fabulous JON BODAN of Halcyon Way is working on a comedy metal soundtrack album to accompany The Bobbit! Rest assured, it will be comically terrible! (in a musically brilliant kind of way!!). Check out http://www.halcyonway.com/
Please note: This parody of The Hobbit is in NO WAY endorsed by Peter Jackson or J. R. R. Tolkien, and the fact it’s being released on (ahem) 13th December 2012 is a complete coincidence!!
***** FUNDING FUNDING FUNDING FUNDING FUNDING *****
(and I recognise this is an experiment and I’m putting my neck on a kind of writer’s chopping block here….. but sheesh, let’s give it a go!!)
The Bobbit is seeking funding through Indiegogo where, as a sponsor, you can receive some very interesting PERKS. Please support The Bobbit by checking out: